Basically this is a rant to vent feelings of frustration and anger, allowing me too settle into my usual apathetic state.

To begin. I am a substitute lifeguard for HRM's (Halifax Regional Municipality, Nova Scotia, Canada) lakefront beaches. I get paid a measly $10.00 (Canadian) per hour ($2.40 above minimum wage). You might not think this so bad, but allow me to show you why you are wrong.

In order to get a job at the supermarket you need:
a) To be in high school.
b) In most cases a lack of a criminal record.

To be a life guard you need:
a) To be in high school.
b) Criminal record check.
c) Child abuse check.
d) lots of certification including: swim kids 1, swim kids 2, swim kids 3, swim kids 4, swim kids 5, swim kids 6, swim kids 7, swim kids 8, swim kids 9, swim kids 10, Bronze Cross, Bronze Medallion, National Lifeguarding Pool, National Life Guarding lake front, AWSI (Assistant Water Safety Instructor), WSI (Water Safety Instructor).

We have to perform practicum while at work and are expected to stay fit enough to perform the following activities. Run 3k in 18:00 minutes, swim 500m in 12:00 and are required to perform exercises. I, personally am capable of doing the run in 14:30 minutes (btw 3k = 1.9 miles) so I am, essentially, a good example of a guard.

Our duties include teaching swimming lesson and keeping you safe.

Our real duties include, but are not limited to: teaching swimming lesson, keeping you safe, dealing with druggies, calling the cops, dealing with thugs angry, screaming and/or violent parents and dog owners and saving your sorry ass.

Today I was working in Spryfield (not a nice area). My first lesson involved teaching a girl, who hates all things in any way related to men (I am a guy), level 5. She freaked out when I took my shirt off, so I had to swim in a shirt. I honestly expect that she has been sexually abused. She hid from me for half the time, screamed, yelled and was eventually dragged off the beach by her embarrassed mother. She returned 10 minutes later got in the water, would not come near me (10 meters-ish), etc. Eventually I managed to get her under control and things become more pleasant.

My second lesson was level 10. Somehow I got stuck with two wretched, disobedient children who would not do a thing they were told and swam like level 4's. They were in level 10 (highest swim kids level), and one wouldn't put her head under the water.

After that I had to deal with a very pleasant family, and a group of about 10, 13 year old, ethnically visible, thugs. Basically they swore all day long (which understandably bothered the nice family), engaged in small fights (unfortunately too small to call the cops over), where disobedient and, towards the end, showered us with threats of violence and death.

Now you might say, "thirteen year olds?!?! <insert low vocal murmur of contempt> I could take em." Ya. Guess what: so could I. Problem is there were 10 of them, and they looked as though they knew how to take care of themselves (having been neglected since birth). Then, after taking care of them in any way shape or form I would have had to deal with the problem of their angry, violent, ghetto parents, who apparently also make frequent threats of violence. Even to female guards (these people are true asses).

So we called the cops. An hour later the gang left. An hour after that, the cops arrived (we used the non-emergency number). Basically, the moment they arrive tomorrow (they are beach rats, and I'm subbing tomorrow as well) we are going to call the cops, have them banned for the beach and very probably are going to have to deal with violence from older siblings and parents.

FUN.

So, how was your day and do you agree that I should be paid more?